Nicole Fortunaso is featured in the new documentary, The Overly Emotional Child
This new documentary helps parents gain a deeper understanding of why children may have BIG Emotions.
Learn how you can help your child:
- Eliminate tantrums
- Stop shutting down
- prevent overreacting
Like a complete course to help parents and children gain emotional intelligence together.
Get more info on the documentary at
www.learningsuccesssystem.com/documentary/emotional
Liz Weaver (00:00):
In today's video, we have Nicole Fortunaso. Nicole combines her experience as a wife and mother with her training as a life coach and healer, her collective experience has allowed her to develop practical approaches to help individuals, businesses, and schools, to find ways to stay tranquil, grounded, and gain clarity with mindfulness, holistic, and intuitive coaching. In this video, Nicole talks about her experience as a parent and mindful life coach in dealing with her own daughter's emotional control issues let's watch.
Nicole Fortunaso (00:38):
Well, I can definitely speak from experience as a parent of a five-year-old and also a mindful life coach. I often have to practice what I preach in this situation because with my five-year-old she's just started school for the first time. And she's had some emotional control issues at school. And, you know, for us, it's our first time at school. And you know where I and my husband have caused a lot of stress in our household. So for me, like in this situation, it's been, it's been challenging because one of the first things where my brain goes is I want to play the blame game. If you will. I want to blame my, my daughter for her behavior. I want to maybe blame the teachers in the institution. Are they doing a good enough job? I blame myself for not being a good enough parent.
Nicole Fortunaso (01:35):
Have I done everything I need to do to set her up for success? And the last thing that I do sometimes is I look at myself and I asked, did I do that as a child? Sometimes it may trigger something, you know, maybe I did, or I can relate to when I was younger. And then I start realizing as I go through these scenarios in my mind that it's not going to do anyone any good it's, it's the blame game. And it's causing me not to become because when I need to speak to my daughter and tell her and provide her different options and different solutions, one of the things that I find I need to be is calm. I know I've tried a lot of different parenting styles with her. I've tried timeouts being angry, and what I find works the best for her and for us is when I'm calm, because when I'm calm and I approach a situation with an understanding of, you know, what she's done is wrong, and I let her communicate that, but I do it in a calm way.
Nicole Fortunaso (02:41):
And sometimes it's not always easy. I try my best to stay in that state. But if I ever find like I can't do it, I definitely take a step back for a few minutes and just come back to the conversation later, I find I get a much better response when we're all calm and we can communicate about the situation, which is another important thing too, that I found in my approach is making sure that my daughter she's calm herself. Cause she's not going to listen to me. If she's in our own head about something, if she's like still upset about what had occurred, she's not going to listen. And as a parent, like you, you know, if you find yourself in that situation, just disconnect from the conversation and come back later and explained like, why you're doing it. Just say, look, this conversation's important, but we're going to chat again in a few minutes.
Nicole Fortunaso (03:42):
And another important thing as a parent, which I find is really important is to honor things that make you feel calm. Are you the type of parent that likes to go into action straight away? Or do you like to take a step back and get advice and tips first before you go on proceed, it doesn't matter what your style is, just honor it because you want to be calm and you know, it's always important as part of that process. No matter what you do is that, you know, you communicate with your child to the best of their understanding, even if they don't get it straight away. The fact that they know that mommy and daddy know or, you know, we're working on it is just a real it's, it's, it's helpful. Another thing that I find helps with my emotional approach with my daughter is patience now.
Even a little mindfullness practice is helpful
Nicole Fortunaso (04:36):
And it's more than patients just with her. It's more from the understanding of patients in the fact of, and having that understanding that they gonna potentially do the same thing. Again, like you they're going to learn, they might change they'll modify, but they might do it in a different way, but all over again. So having patience and understand it's a learning process, they're going through their own journey, expressing themselves and trying to do the best that they can do to the last thing that I find definitely helps with my emotional sanity is avoiding comparisons. And that's a huge one because you know, we want to compare our children to other children. We want to compare ourselves to our child. We're like, Oh yes. I, I don't I didn't do that when I was a child. All those things set triggers, you know, body and our mind and take us away from, from that calm state that we want to be in, because we want to have that emotional clarity when we talk to our kids about their problems and help them express what's going on for their day.
Nicole Fortunaso (05:48):
I know for me as an intuitive coach and mindfulness coach it's for me is like, I practice daily meditation and I know it's, and it's really hard sometimes with, with the schedule to try and fit it in. But sometimes it's even 10 minutes before I go to bed at night. And it's just about connecting with myself, asking myself, how am I feeling today? Where am I at? Did I have a good day? Am I just reacting bigger than what the situation needs to be? Because I had a really crappy day at my work or a job, you know, or I had not nice interaction somewhere. I'm sitting in traffic that made me unhappy, you know? So just taking those mindful moments, just to breathe and connect and relax. That helps me practice for when I actually need it, like talking to children when we're going through some tough times,
Nicole Fortunaso (06:49):
But you're respective of that. Just keep up the good work practice, staying calm, take those few deep breaths and it's okay to step away And good luck with your parenting of your kids.
Make sure to watch the full documentary on childhood emotions. You'll learn how to help your child manage their own emotions. You'll learn about your own emotions and how they affect your child. And you'll learn simple ways of helping children improve behavior.
Get more info at
www.learningsuccesssystem.com/documentary/emotional
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