Brent Sweitzer is featured in the new documentary, The Overly Emotional Child

This new documentary helps parents gain a deeper understanding of why children may have BIG Emotions.

Learn how you can help your child:


  • Eliminate tantrums
  • Stop shutting down
  • prevent overreacting


Like a complete course to help parents and children gain emotional intelligence together.

Get more info on the documentary at


Liz Weaver (00:00):

In today's video, we have Brent Sweitzer. Brent uses his experience as a counselor and play therapist to help distant couples reconnect, communicate better, and helps children play their way through difficult emotions. And this video, Brent talks about setting the emotional climate for your children by managing your own emotions. First let's watch.


Brent Sweitzer (00:24):

So let's talk about emotions managing ours so we can help our children and manage theirs. So let's start with ours, how we manage and regulate our own emotions probably is the biggest factor in how our children cope with their own. We as parents set the emotional climate in our home for our children. So, you know what flight attendants say when you're when you're starting a flight secure your own oxygen mask before putting it on someone else? Well, this is especially true in the realm of emotions, the more we can be attuned to our own emotional experience, the better we can support our children. So this includes getting to know our triggers that may be drawn up through interactions with our children. There may be issues and experiences for ourselves that need more processing or even maybe exploration with a mental health professional. So let me give you an example, what I mean.


Brent Sweitzer (01:24):

So for some parents, seeing their child upset can be very triggering for them, such that they feel compelled to do anything they can to calm the child. Now, the downside of this is that this can communicate to the child that,, that, that child can't cope with their own upsetting emotions, which is not something we want them to learn. So for other parents, seeing their child upset may trigger more of a tough enough response, likely maybe because that's how a key caregiver responded to or responded to us. And of course, this can teach kids not to be aware of how they feel or if they are not to share it with their parents. So just becoming more aware of these reactions can in ourselves can make a huge difference in our ability to be present with our children and to support them. So again, let me give you some practical ideas for this at a time when you're calm, you know, questions that you can ask yourself, or, you know, maybe what thoughts go through my head.


Brent Sweitzer (02:21):

When I see my child struggling, what do I feel inside when my child is upset? What did I learn? Maybe from my own upbringing about feelings that may be interfering with my present, chosen values as a parent and what I want my children to feel and what I want them to learn. So on my website, I have a feelings list, just list of different feelings, positive and negative that can help, you know, get more fluency here or just Google feelings list. You'll probably find some, some resources that will help kind of expand your own emotional vocabulary. Okay. So we talked a little about our emotions within ourselves as parents. Now let's talk a little bit about responding to emotions in our kids. So,


Speaker 3 (03:06):

You know, when we're able to manage our own feelings, we'll have a much more time, much easier time supporting our children in theirs. And that leads us to a key principle here, how our children feel about themselves is really the biggest determinant of their behavior. So children feel good about themselves, and this is not just how they feel at any given moment, but in general, a way of relating to themselves, if they feel good and they relate to themselves well, they'll behave in ways that support and enhance that view of themselves. So how to children, how do we help children feel good about themselves? Well, a good start is to help them be in touch with their feelings, help them know what they're feeling, and help them know that we, we understand well, how do we do that? Well, by helping them name and accept their own feelings. So let me give you an example of that. So when you see a child, your own child or another child is stressed about something that happened during the day, you know, instead of trying to maybe reassure them or by saying things like, Oh, it's okay.




Brent Sweitzer (04:05):

There's nothing to worry about. Try instead, just to say what you see, you know, a simple statement, like I can say that I can see that that made you pretty upset or wow. You feel frustrated with that assignment that you were working on, putting words to their emotional experience, acknowledging it, that it's real by naming it, it helps your child feel understood by you. And when they feel this, they can begin to self-sooth and they can begin to solve problems for themselves, even the problem that that may be causing the emotional upset. And that's an experience we want our kids to have of being able to kind of have that self-direction. So to give you an example, or a vivid example of, of this in real life if you there's a, if you Google the phrase still face experiment, you'll really, and it's on YouTube and it's been seen a bunch of times.


Brent Sweitzer (05:01):

If you look that up, you'll see the power of parental responsiveness in a child and it's with a baby, but the principles that are applied to there really extend throughout childhood and into adulthood. The subtleties of the ways that we as parents respond to our kids' emotions have such an effect on their ability to self-regulate and again, solve problems for themselves. So just to summarize, the key is to start with how you feel and being aware of your own emotional experience and the things in your children that might trigger you. You know, if they have a hard time with something being aware of what that could be for you and, you know, putting that oxygen mask on yourself before you put it on them. And then as you do that, just tuning into your kid's emotional experience by saying what you see and reflecting that back to them, this helps them feel understood by you and seen by you, which will help them still feel better and also regulate.


Make sure to watch the full documentary on childhood emotions. You'll learn how to help your child manage their own emotions. You'll learn about your own emotions and how they affect your child. And you'll learn simple ways of helping children improve behavior.

Get more info at


How our children feel about themselves is really the biggest determinant of their behavior

Key Takeaways:

Seeing your child upset can be a trigger for you
Being aware of this trigger can make a huge difference
When we manage our own emotions we can support our children in managing theirs

How Parents Emotions Affect Their Children and What to Do About It - Brent Sweitzer

Do You Need help with a Learning Difficulty?

Our simple online analysis will help you get to the core of the problem and find the right solution for you.

Understanding how to help someone with a learning difficulty starts with understanding which micro-skills are affected. When you learn which of the micro-skills is the problem, you will then be on your way to solving it.

You'll also learn how to:

  • Build confidence
  • Enhance Learning ability
  • Eliminate avoidance
  • Build grit

You can get this analysis for free by filling out this simple form. This will help you get to the bottom of a learning difficulty and provide you with a solution. If you are ready to put this problem behind you click the button below and fill out the form.