Damon Dietz is featured in the new documentary, The Overly Emotional Child
This new documentary helps parents gain a deeper understanding of why children may have BIG Emotions.
Learn how you can help your child:
- Eliminate tantrums
- Stop shutting down
- prevent overreacting
Like a complete course to help parents and children gain emotional intelligence together.
Get more info on the documentary at
www.learningsuccesssystem.com/documentary/emotional
Empathize with an Overly Emotional Child
Samantha (00:00):
In today's video, we have Damon Dietz. Damon is a writer, parenting, coach filmmaker, and professional speaker who shares his knowledge of finance health and life. From the perspective of a divorced dad over 40, he is a father of three amazing kids and thinks the dads are kick . Even when the rest of the world thinks you're idiots, Let's see what Damon has to say about helping children manage emotions.
Damon Dietz (00:29):
Hey guys, my name is Damon Dietz and I am a parenting coach specifically to single dads. But the advice that I have to give today is really relevant towards all parents. And what I want to talk to you about today is the top three things you can do when dealing with overly emotional children, I'll have a lot of experience in this myself. I have an 11 year old soon to be 12 who is definitely a sensitive child, definitely has exhibits and, and really shows more emotions than my other two kids. And it was really difficult for me at first how to deal with it. So I want to share with you some of the tips that I have, I've shared with some other dads about how we can really make the most with our experience with overly emotional children.
Damon Dietz (01:17):
So the first tip I have for you guys is to be mindful, right? The first thing is to realize, Hey, I have an overly emotional child. What do I need to do about it? It's very easy to lose your temper with an emotional child. You know, something as simple as a toy left in the yard or not getting what they want for breakfast. These are things that can set an emotional child off. It could be tantrums. There can be Fits, crying, yelling so much can come along with it. You really just have to take a step back and be mindful of what's happening. You think to yourself what if I were in this situation and the, the odds were much bigger. What it was my boss telling me I couldn't have something. What if it was my spouse?
Damon Dietz (02:02):
There was disagreeing with me. What if I lost my iPhone for example, so that little toy to the child really, it kind of equates to something bigger for an adult. So be mindful, use calming strategies. I like to take a deep breath. That is one huge thing for me that has really helped me over the years. Meditation obviously is great. Not everyone has the time to do 20 minutes or 30 minutes of just sit down, breathing techniques throughout the day, but I can't stress enough. The simplicity in just taking one to three deep breaths when your overly emotional child is having some sort of tantrum or some sort of over, over sensitivity that you just might not understand, take some deep breaths and and just be mindful of what's happening. The second thing which sort of leads into it is to reduce your expectations.
Damon Dietz (02:54):
Right? We talked a little bit about the iPhone. If you broke your iPhone or lost your smartphone, it would be a huge deal. You might feel like crying. You might feel like acting out. You probably do when you don't even realize it. So these are things that have your expectations, your child, no matter how old is not a little adult, right? So we, as parents tend to think that children are little adults, they should have the same emotions and feelings as we do. We often do not understand why a child does not have a reaction that we would have. And that's because we are 20, 30, 40, 50, three years old, and they're five, 10, 15 years old. They haven't had the life experience that we've had. And it's, it's just having the time and having the wherewithal to understand and set your expectations of what of what you think your child should the acting like they're not little versions of you.
Damon Dietz (03:55):
They're not little adults and they're themselves. And you have to learn to recognize those emotions and those feelings, and really appreciate them. The number three thing that I think us as parents can do to deal with an overly emotional child. And this is probably the most important is to have empathy. I'll be honest with you. Empathy was not something that was a natural born skill for me growing up. In fact a lack of empathy led to my divorce. It led to problems at my job and when I was starting my own business with partners and such not having the empathy really had a negative impact on me and everything that I touched. So after the divorce, when the kids were young, I started to research empathy. I bought a couple books and I just, I read what is empathy?
Damon Dietz (04:47):
And is it something that you're born with or is it, is it a skill that you develop? So most parents discount the feelings of the child. They come home from school, a little Susie is getting picked on and they say, you know, I'm so sad. I had such a bad day. And the parents says, no, you didn't. No, you didn't. Your day was great. Okay. Well, how do you think that makes it, makes the child feel and the same token, let's say you're not one of those parents and you dig a little deeper and you say Oh, what happened? And they said, well, a little, little Johnny picked on me. And he, and he stole my book and he took my lunch money. And so what do we do as parents? We automatically try to solve the problem. Here's what you're going to do.
Damon Dietz (05:25):
You're going to go to the teacher, you're going to tell them what happened. They're going to fix it. If that doesn't work, then I'm going to fix it. And the kids, they don't want you to solve their problems. They just want you to listen. They want you to understand and have empathy. So when little Susie says, you know, I was picked on today at school, you could say, you know, how did that make you feel? And then guess what? They're going to talk about it a little bit. And they might start to solve the problem themselves. Once they begin to open up and realize the world is huge. You think about the scope of the world for us as adults, as parents. And then think about how large the world is for your little one. Every thing has such a huge impact on them. And if you take the time to listen and have empathy, then you'll be able to really, really lessen the emotional outbursts from your child.
Empathy is the answer
Damon Dietz (06:23):
Because once they know you're listening, there's no need to act out and cry and have a tantrum. There's no need to yell and scream at you. Then you mail it. You may still get some of that, but the majority of time, and I guarantee you, when you show empathy and you listen your child is going to talk to you about it, and then they're going to work through the problems themselves. I can't stress enough to not try to solve the problems of your children, as well as don't discount the problems. Remember, they're not little adults, they're not little versions of you. They have emotions that have not yet developed, and they're experiencing the world for the first time. So if they left their toy out in the yard and they're going to cry about it, don't tell them that that's stupid to do. Don't tell them that they shouldn't cry, ask them how they feel and let them know that you understand that, Oh, you know, what was he, when I lost my iPhone, I felt the same way.
Damon Dietz (07:19):
This gives them. This gives them such comfort in the fact that you understand where they're coming from. And and since I've done that really with all my children, I've noticed a huge impact. And our relationships, our relationships have really developed further. And I feel like just circling back empathy, isn't necessarily something you are born with. Some of us are lucky and they are, we are born with empathy, but some of us aren't and that's okay, you can learn the skill. And once you have that skill, you can apply it in all facets of life, especially with an overly emotional child. So I hope these three tips have really helped you, and you can start implementing one, two, or all three of these tips immediately. They're not huge things that are going to take a lot of time. They're not things that are going to take.
Damon Dietz (08:16):
Actually, they're not going to take a tremendous amount of effort. It's going to take some conscious thought. You're going to have to think about it. So when, when your child, your overly emotional child comes to you with a problem, or they're having a temper tantrum in the supermarket, or they're they're screaming or crying, or they're acting out at you, it's, you're going to have to step back. You're going to have to be mindful of what's happening. Take your deep breath, put your, put yourself in the position of your child, realize that they're not little adults. Don't, don't set your expectations so high and then show empathy, listen, and show empathy. And I really think that these three things are the keys to dealing with overly, overly emotional children. Thanks a lot, guys. I really appreciate it. Once again, my name is Damon Dietz and and I hope you really got some value from this. It's been my pleasure to talk to you today and have a wonderful, blessed day. Enjoy those kids. They only are at this age one time and overly emotional or not the connection that a dad or a mom makes with that child is a lasting impression and we want it to be a positive one. So thanks guys.
Make sure to watch the full documentary on childhood emotions. You'll learn how to help your child manage their own emotions. You'll learn about your own emotions and how they affect your child. And you'll learn simple ways of helping children improve behavior.
Get more info at
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