Innattentive ADD and Motivation

Submitted by Phil Weaver on Fri, 2019-05-31 15:52

Phil:   Yes, yes. Very understanding. Wow. Okay. So I've got a couple of questions here. Who is, let me put these in context there from a friend of mine who has a child who is, I think he's probably 20, 21, inattentive ADHD, very late diagnosed. I'm not sure when, but maybe just recently, went off to college. It didn't go so well and he's now dropped out. and so these are our questions from, from her and she says, what are some practical ways for individuals with inattentive Adhd, inattentive add to motivate themselves and deal with a changing their entrenched behaviors after diagnosis? So this is an older child, okay.

Merriam:   There are two things to, well, more than two things to consider, but you know, because of the late diagnosis this now adult would have a lot of self-esteem issues, right. That they've been struggling for years and years and years with no understanding of why, why can't I do what seems to come so easily to everybody else? And, they've been, you know, just continually labeled as forgetful. You're not trying hard enough. and, and they haven't had the benefit of any type of training to understand, well, sure, this doesn't come easily to me, but these are the five things I need to do in order to succeed. I need to use my agenda or my iPhone in a totally different way than anyone else. I need to set reminders. I need to put my keys in the same place all the time.

 

Merriam:   You know, just little tips and tricks. They don't have those. the second thing to consider is in order for someone with Adhd to really achieve like a greater success, the best path for them is one where they're passionate because that passion will create dopamine, which will always help their prefrontal cortex. So if you love to dance, but you are a finance and accounting major because your parents think that that's, you know, gonna be a better breadwinner. you're not likely going to succeed in that and you probably will drop out and then you won't learn anything. Yeah. So, really drilling down and understanding what are this person's interests and is there a way for them to go down that path instead of this well, I've got to go to college and I've got to study, you know, psychology because that's what everyone, that's what I'm expected to study.

Merriam:   Then if, if you can garner a level of excitement for whatever that path is, I would highly recommend if someone has the financial wherewithal to hire a coach, an ADHD adult coach. An ADHD coach, it's not a once a week session. It doesn't work. This person usually will be more of a daily, like 15 minute check in or sometimes even at text kind of relationship. But that person with ADHD needs, what we call a scaffold they need, until they learn those skills. We talked about it in point number one. They need someone on the outside kind of doing those skills for them and reminding them of those skills constantly and really reinforcing that behavior until they can leave the bit the bird's nest on their own.

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they've been struggling for years and years and years with no understanding of why, why can't I do what seems to come so easily to everybody else?
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