Questions As Veiled Criticisms

Submitted by Judy Hanning on Mon, 2017-04-17 18:00
Sometimes couples express their innate dissatisfaction and resentment in a relationship by asking questions that aren’t really questions, but are actually criticism.

“A psychotherapist in Burlington, Vermont, observes that couples in counseling together ask each other questions that are actually veiled criticisms.”

To avoid conflict, it helps if the person being asked the question will listen to the intent behind the question and rephrase it. Some people are direct with their requests while others hint at the issue, expecting others to guess what they want.
Such indirect communication was the topic of a spirited conversation on Metafilter. Much has been written about direct vs. indirect communication styles, or as it’s sometimes called, “ask culture” vs. “guess culture.”
~ Grant Barrett

Key Takeaways:

1
A therapist has noticed that couples in couples counselling often ask each other questions that are actually thinly-veiled criticisms.
2
Indirect vs direct communication styles have been heavily studied, and much has been written about them.
3
Indirect vs direct communication is also known as “ask culture” vs “guess culture.”
Read the full article here:
https://www.waywordradio.org/questions-as-veiled-criticisms/