Jennifer: "Oh, I didn't realize that. So, what should I do instead?"
Samantha: "Try praising Jake for his efforts, persistence, and the strategies he uses to solve problems. For example, instead of saying 'You're a genius for solving that puzzle,' you could say 'I'm impressed with how you stuck with it and tried different approaches until you found a solution.'"
Jennifer: "That makes sense. But I’ve been praising Jake this way for so long that I’m afraid it will just keep slipping out. My motherly instincts just make me feel like I should build him up with that sort of praise. Can you help me get better at this?"
Samantha: “Sure I’d be happy to. How about we go over some examples? Would that help?”
Jennifer: “Oh that would be fantastic. Yes please!”
Remember, the goal is to focus on effort, strategies, and progress, rather than labeling your child as smart or talented. Here are ten examples for you:
Fixed mindset praise: "You're so good at math."
Growth mindset praise: "I can see that you've been working hard to understand these math problems, and it's paying off!"
Fixed mindset praise: "You're a natural at playing the piano."
Growth mindset praise: "Your practice is really showing in your piano playing. Your persistence is helping you improve."
Fixed mindset praise: "You're such a talented artist."
Growth mindset praise: "I love how you keep experimenting with different techniques in your artwork. It's great to see you trying new things!"
Fixed mindset praise: "You're a great writer. It must come easy to you."
Growth mindset praise: "I can see how much thought and effort you put into organizing your ideas and refining your writing."
Fixed mindset praise: "You're so smart for figuring out that puzzle quickly."
Growth mindset praise: "I'm impressed with the way you approached that puzzle, analyzing the pieces and finding the right connections."
Fixed mindset praise: "You're a born athlete."
Growth mindset praise: "Your dedication to training and practicing is really showing in your athletic performance."
Fixed mindset praise: "You're a fast learner."
Growth mindset praise: "You don't give up when you encounter new challenges, and you keep trying different approaches until you find one that works."
Fixed mindset praise: "You must be a genius to get such good grades."
Growth mindset praise: "Your consistent effort and dedication to your studies are reflected in your good grades. Keep up the hard work!"
Fixed mindset praise: "You're so gifted at public speaking."
Growth mindset praise: "I noticed how well-prepared and practiced you were for your speech. Your effort to engage the audience really paid off!"
Fixed mindset praise: "You're a natural leader."
Growth mindset praise: "You've been working on your communication and listening skills, and it shows in how effectively you lead and support your team."
By using growth mindset praise like these examples, you can encourage your child to see the value in effort and persistence and help him understand that his abilities can grow and develop over time. This approach will not only help him develop a healthier mindset but also foster a love for learning and resilience in the face of challenges.