Important Don'ts
Don't bring your child with you to the meeting. He's going to feel anxious enough about the situation without having to witness it, too.
Don't be antagonistic or defensive. Be open to suggestions from the teacher or the school councilor.
Don't be passive either. Take an active part in the conferences and the action plan. It's the teacher's classroom, but it's your child. If you believe the teacher is being too harsh, based on what your child said and what other children have said, recommend the teacher ease back in certain behaviors and explain why. If that doesn't work, seek an appointment with the teacher's supervisor—often the principal. Never jump to that level first, though. Work within the system as much as and for as long as you can.
Don't compare. Don't compare siblings, friends, schools or teachers. Treat this as a completely unique situation, because that's what it is: Your child is unique, and so are the problems he's having.
It's especially important throughout this process to keep an open mind and heart. Your child's teacher is not a villain, and neither is your child or you. Problems arise. Problems can be solved with effort, dedication and patience.