You know what they say: “Like mother, like child”.
Moms who show off positive behaviors and values teach their kids what it means to be a good person. And that's a pretty great recipe for success.
As moms, we can be powerful role models. By embodying positive behaviors and values like hard work, honesty, and kindness, we can inspire our kids to adopt these traits and develop good character, which will serve them well throughout their lives.
And another thing that they pick up from us, but more subtly, is emotional intelligence. Of all of the factors that lead to a successful happy life, emotional intelligence is at the top. Some very successful people claim its the number one factor in their success [gv video]
You can learn more about emotional intelligence and how to pass it down to your child by watching our documentary. “The Overly Emotional Child.” You can check out the trailer right here
Encouragement and Praise:
Give it up to the moms who are always cheering on their kids! Encouragement and praise from moms can help kids develop a growth mindset, making them unstoppable when it comes to overcoming challenges. Recognizing children's efforts and accomplishments can motivate them to continue striving for success.
But it is critical to use praise in the right ways. Praising attributes can lead to a fixed mindset. A fixed mindset hinders learning and growth and can lead to low self-esteem and anxiety. Instead, praise effort. That leads to a growth mindset. And having a growth mindset is a big predictor of success. It’s such an important concept we made a full video on it which you can get right here
Socialization:
Moms are the ultimate social coaches. They teach their kids how to make friends, share toys, and play nice, which will definitely help them succeed in life and relationships.
These lessons teach strong social skills like empathy, cooperation, and communication. These skills set children up for better relationships and networking opportunities in the future.
Quick note. In the past it was thought that the best way to be tops in business was to be cut-throat and merciless. In today's world that idea is being challenged by some of the top business leaders. These leaders emphasize empathy, treating others well, and good communication as the way to the top.
In other words, soft skills. Sure the other way can work, it can lead to huge fortunes. but doesn’t always lead to a good life. There are a lot of unhappy people at the top. Gary Vaynerchuk considers it so important that he’s written a book on it. Highly recommended!
Now, let's get real and talk about the ways moms can accidentally trip up their kids' future success.
Since you're watching this video these probably don’t apply to you. But it’s a good idea to be aware anyway. Number one is:
Overprotection:
We know moms just want to keep their kids safe, but sometimes, too much protection can hold kids back. [5 overprotective] Helicopter parenting can make it tough for kids to learn to take risks and face challenges on their own. Remember that secure base we talked about?
Overly protective mothers may unintentionally stifle their children's independence and risk-taking. This can hinder their ability to face challenges and succeed in the future
Excessive Criticism:
Nobody's perfect, but constant criticism from moms can be a real downer. It can make kids afraid to take risks and chase their dreams.
Constant criticism can erode a child's self-esteem and create a fear of failure. This can inhibit their willingness to take risks and pursue ambitious goals.
Of course we do need to guide them. Can’t just let them run amuck. So how do we do it?
There is a healthy way for moms (and all parents) to provide constructive criticism to their children. The key is to ensure that the criticism is focused on specific behaviors, actions, or choices, rather than on the child's character or worth. Here are some guidelines for offering healthy, constructive criticism:
Be specific: Clearly identify the behavior or action that needs improvement. Avoid general or vague statements that may leave your child confused or frustrated.
Use "I" statements: Express your concerns using "I" statements to describe how you feel or what you have observed, rather than placing blame on the child. For example, say "I noticed that you didn't finish your homework," instead of "You're always so lazy."
Focus on the behavior, not the child: Make sure your criticism targets the specific behavior or action and not the child's character or personality. This helps prevent your child from internalizing the criticism as a reflection of their self-worth.
Offer guidance and support: After expressing your concern, provide guidance or suggestions for improvement. Offer your help and support in finding a solution or working on the issue together.
Choose the right time and place: Select a calm and private setting to discuss your concerns. Avoid discussing sensitive issues in front of others or during moments of high stress or emotional intensity.
Balance criticism with praise: Make an effort to acknowledge and praise your child's efforts, strengths, and achievements. This helps maintain a positive relationship and reinforces their self-esteem.
Be empathetic: Show understanding and empathy for your child's feelings and experiences. This helps them feel heard and respected, making them more receptive to your guidance.
By following these guidelines, moms can provide constructive criticism that helps their children learn, grow, and develop healthy habits and behaviors, without damaging their self-esteem or confidence.
Next we have:
Poor Role Modeling:
Hey, moms are human too. But when moms demonstrate negative behaviors or values, kids can pick up on those habits, and that might not be great for their future success.
If a mother demonstrates negative behaviors or values, children may adopt these traits and develop poor character, which can negatively impact their future success.
And then there is
Lack of Emotional Support:
When kids don't get enough emotional support from their moms, they can struggle to develop confidence and self-worth, which can make it harder for them to succeed in life.
Emotional support is so critical at those young ages. So is helping them to understand their emotions. We cover how to teach them to understand their emotions in the “Overly Emotional Child” documentary. So be sure to check that out.
Next is:
Neglect:
Neglect has far-reaching effects on children. Neglecting kids' needs – whether it's emotional, educational, or social – can leave them feeling lost and unprepared to face life's challenges. While I know that’s not you, maybe look out for it in your community. It’s so prevalent and so terrible.
Now that all that is covered let’s talk about a struggle that a lot of kids have that often goes unnoticed for far too long. It happens to the smartest of kids. And thats why it often doesn’t get noticed. Because they are so smart, no one would guess they were struggling