Well, it doesn’t have to be that way.
When a child has lost confidence because of poor reading skills.
- Or they feel stupid.
- Or are afraid of failing.
They often procrastinate and use any avoidance technique that works.
Yes, your child knows you well. If it has gone to the point where their emotions are being affected, then they will very masterfully push your buttons. And waste time.
So, I’d like to give you some strategies. Strategies that will get you through this. Strategies that will get your child to love reading, math, writing, and spelling. If you’d like that, read on.
Firstly, recognize that emotions play a huge part in learning. If your child is experiencing negative emotions they simply cannot learn. On the other hand, if they are experiencing positive emotions thy will learn extremely well. Because positive emotions and learning go hand and hand.
Our brain actually uses positive emotion neurotransmitters in the learning process. It's quite simple, negative emotions shut learning down, positive emotions turn it on. Negative emotions, such as fear, shame, and anxiety trigger a part of the brain called the amygdala. When the amygdala is triggered it actually shuts down the thinking parts of the brain. Not good for learning.
So, as a parent, you must learn how to prevent it.
The amygdala has a job to do. Its job is to keep us alive. So when it perceives danger it takes over. The amygdala creates a stress response, readying the body for fight or flight. It also shuts down the learning centers of the brain because they are unnecessary in this stressful situation.The amygdala turns on fight (in this case fighting you) or flight (avoidance).
When your child is doing everything they can to avoid homework this is what is happening. The amygdala has taken over. At that point, learning is nearly impossible. So trying harder is not going to work. The only thing that will work is calming that amygdala. Or better yet, never triggering it at all.
How do you do that?
You have to formulate confidence strategies.
Because as your child becomes more confident, they will learn better. Once high levels of confidence have been achieved, reading becomes easy and fun. Even if there are struggles. That’s why the praise exercise I gave you was designed to help with confidence. Remember that one? The proper praise exercise. That's a good starting point. Of course, there are many more strategies you can use to quickly build confidence.
Another strategy for building confidence is building up the micro-skills. When these micro-skills gain strength, all learning becomes easy and fun. Like it should be. At Learning Success we also use a principle called Kaizen. What this means is that we aim for tiny changes. Breaking things down into their smallest components.
Why does this work?
The brain resists change. So by making change very small, we eliminate resistance. You can create changes that are so small that they do not trigger resistance. The Learning Success System is full of lessons that are small enough to ensure success. Ensuring success is an important technique in confidence building. When teaching we don’t want successes all the time but we do want them most of the time.
That proper praise exercise was also designed to help your child realize that not getting something correct is not always the most important thing. Effort is. So, with that in mind. We create an environment where 90% of the time there is a win. The other 10% they will learn to just keep trying until there is a win.
There is some neuroscience magic behind small wins. By having a lot of small successes we wire the brain for success. Each small success causes an endorphin release. Eventually, a child learns to desire these endorphin releases. Even though these successes are tiny, they add up quickly. This moves a child forward and creates more desire to move forward.
Julie was absolutely thrilled when she saw this work in action:
Can you imagine how happy Julie was when she first saw her daughter do her homework on her own?
Here's another trick to control those emotions (amygdala). We can use the body. You can use the body for emotional control and generate positive emotions. This is one of the most exciting breakthroughs in neuroscience. You can one way of doing that here.
Let's get back to those important micro-skills. Micro-skill exercises are actually fun. They are like games. And this is one of the methods for transforming your child into an eager learner. Exercises that are more like games than school work.
If there’s already resistance to school work then working harder at school work won’t help. It will only make things worse. Instead, build up the skills in a non-academic fun way. As confidence builds, you can tackle bigger harder things. Like academics.
Learning Success members are happy to find that their children actually enjoy doing the Learning Success System. That's a welcome change. Here are some screenshots taken from our member's area. These are from parents going through the Learning Success System and realizing how they can turn their children around from resistance to enjoyment. Some of these parents started out with their children throwing screaming tantrums when homework was even mentioned. They’ve come a long way.
I bet they were surprised when they found out this was going to be easy!
Want to join them? Get Started Now!
If you are getting resistance, it’s a sure sign that emotions are taking over and traditional learning methods will not work. It’s important to take a step back and use the methods I’ve shown you.
If your child is resisting isn't it time to stop the fight and do things the easy way?
Do You Need help with a Learning Difficulty?
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Understanding how to help someone with a learning difficulty starts with understanding which micro-skills are affected. When you learn which of the micro-skills is the problem, you will then be on your way to solving it.
You'll also learn how to:
- Build confidence
- Enhance Learning ability
- Eliminate avoidance
- Build grit
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