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“Mommy look at this picture I drew for you!”

“Daddy watch this!”

You probably remember hearing joyous exclamations like those.

Those beautiful happy moments between you and your child.

I'll take a wild guess and say you'd like to see many many more of those moments.

Moments like finally seeing your child become a proficient reader, bringing home that excellent report card, or even (later in life) getting a great job and successfully raising their own family.

 

Do you cherish those moments?

I sure do.

Not only are those moments one of the biggest joys of life, they are also the key to helping your child get through their struggles. Especially math and other academic struggles

Here's why.

As your child grows, they look to you for their own confidence.

Constantly checking for approval. This is a part of natural development.

They don't yet fully know whether or not to be confident about a task. They are "learning confidence" through your reactions.

There's actually an amazing amount of science around this. The science tells us how much of this communication operates far below the radar, in what is called our limbic system. That's just a bit much for our conversation today. Just be aware it exists and that it can be very powerful.

When your child was a baby, do you remember them looking back at you just before they were going to attempt some new feat?

They were gauging your reaction and using your reaction to measure safety.

Measuring safety and approval.

Of course, we interpret this as measuring what they can get away with :-)

And that is certainly true. It's just that at a deeper level it's really about measuring safety.

It's a simple and innate system that works very well.

If you approve, it's safe. If not, then it's dangerous.

Yes, I know that they would also "verify" if you disapprove. Over and over and over.  But that's another story.

 

 

Parental Praise Is As Powerful As Dynamite!

What's important here is what's going on at a very deep biological level. A level so deep that they were born with it.

We have to remember, that at a very deep biological level, your disapproval is perceived as extremely dangerous by your child.

At this deep level, they know they need you to survive. So your approval or disapproval is, at the deepest biological level, life or death.

Obviously, you care for your child and would do anything to keep them from harm. But we are talking biology and emotions here, not logic.

And this deep-seated biology is what makes your reactions, your approval methods, and your guidance both powerful and dangerous.

It's like dynamite.

Dynamite can be used in construction to build wonderful things like roads and bridges.

Or used wrong, it can be used to destroy.

When it comes to building your child's future HOW you give approval, guidance, and help is just as powerful.

Which is why you really want to get it right. It's important to use the best tools available to you. This is tricky business.

There is a lot of psychology behind why proper praise and guidance causes a child to try hard and eventually succeed, no matter what the obstacle.

 

 

 

You are the key master with the full potential to shape your child's life into the best it can possibly be

No One Weilds the Power of a Parent

And that same psychology tells us why improper praise and guidance will lead even a child with the greatest gifts to fail.

And, because of the biological reasons given above, no one wields this power like you do

In other words, you are the key master

or maybe the key maker

You are the only one with the right fit. The only one who can make the big difference.

 

 

Key Takeaways:

1
Parents hold the keys to their childs self-esteem
2
Parents can be more effective than professionals
3
Children want to please parents the most

That's why doing even a few minutes per day of the Learning Success System with your child will have a bigger effect than anything else.

You could hire expensive specialists or seek accommodations. And that *might* be appropriate.

But remember, you hold the key.

You are the key master with the full potential to shape your child's life into the best it can possibly be.

I know you'll use that wisely!

Liz

Learning Success

 

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