Is there an external cause
Emily Stone (06:33):
Can you help me? What's something that can help me to calm down and clean up this mess and move on with my day. Right? So one that's helping them not feel alone that they have big feelings, right? Everybody has them, even mom, even dad, even grandma too, they get to know what to do when things are difficult, right. They get to learn a new skill. They get to see somebody else practice it. And three that they're helping others. Right. We really want kids to be able to feel the sense of autonomy and helpfulness, right. That really contributes to self-esteem. So modeling can be a really good way to do that. You know, and along, along with modeling, I think making sure that your kids have access to a lot of different coping skills and tools is a really important piece of allowing kids to feel really resilient and confident in their ability to manage big feelings.
Emily Stone (07:15):
There are so many wonderful resources out there in the lovely world of the internet, right. That can help us. But my suggestion to parents is always, if it looks different on different kids, that's okay. Right. So I think we would all love for kids to sit down and practice deep breathing, listen to meditation, but we also know that that's not the right fit for everybody. It's not a one size fits all scenario. So if some kids might feel better, if they go run around on the playground or do push-ups and sit-ups, some kids might find art and music, something that really helps to calm their big emotions while others can like, you know, read or do a puzzle to feel really, you know, distracted and move on from, you know, the situation at hand. And so I think allowing your child an opportunity to explore different techniques without judgment, without this expectation of what calm looks like, right.
Emily Stone (08:04):
Having them have the opportunity to find what works for them and asking them questions, like, what does it feel like when you do that puzzle or what was helpful this afternoon, when you felt frustrated? What, what helped and what didn't help can really create a conversation and some buy-in for kids to actually use these tools. So all in all on occasion, though, we do see that children have a really tough time sometimes managing their emotions to the point in which it's impacting their daily life in a negative way. So for some kids, it can be that they're having a really tough time at school cause their emotions have become so overwhelming. They're having trouble getting along with peers and siblings. And if that's the case, I mean, it can be really, really helpful to talk to your child's pediatrician, just regarding any potential and additional concerns and supports that they can put in place to really help. But all in all, just no matter what, no, that you and your child's are super resilient and that you're taking steps to, you know, develop skills and, you know, learn more things about their big emotions.
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