Phil:   So, tell me about, I've also heard you use the phrase "to fill via self esteem bucket". Quoting you on that so is tell me about self confidence and self esteem as I kinda feel bad as a prerequisite for being a good learner. do, how do you think self confidence and self esteem, it affects just the, the way the brain functions as being a good learner?

Merriam:    Right. I think if you have been told over and over again that you do things wrong and that you just had your own personal experiences, that you struggle at something and you just can't seem to get it done as easily as you know, Johnny who sits next to you in that class than you. It's almost like a self fulfilling prophecy that you start to believe that yourself, well, I'm just no good at this and if I believe I'm no good at this, then what's the point in trying, because I'm not really ever going to accomplish in any way, whether it's learning to play soccer or learning your multiplication table.


Phil:    Sure. So, of course now if they want to avoid that would that lead into, some negative behaviors where they use that.

Merriam:    Yeah. Yeah. Usually, especially in the sense of in the case of hyperactive Adhd is that they tend to be more noticeable inattentive Adhd, you know, it's quiet in the back of the classroom, often goes undiagnosed for awhile. With the hyperactive children, they're the quote unquote troublemakers. They're the ones who are constantly being told, don't touch that, quiet down. It's not talking time. Don't talk out of turn. and they're not finishing their work. They're forgetting it at home. and so they, if they reached the point where they feel like, well, I'm no good at this anyway, no matter how hard I try, I'm still doing it wrong. So what's the point? Then, that's who they feel they are and they will probably, you know, start to elevate those behaviors because that's who they are. Right? That's who everybody thinks I am. I can get a laugh at least if maybe if I goof around. So maybe I'll try that approach, get the dopamine hit off the laughter from my classmates, even though I know it's going to get me in trouble.

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Then, that's who they feel they are and they will probably, you know, start to elevate those behaviors because that's who they are.

Helping Kids Fill Their "Self-Esteem Bucket"

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